"SPAMBot - Horse Doctor" (spambot2002)
07/10/2019 at 20:36 • Filed to: new beetle, VW, Useless Reviews | 17 | 63 |
I’m re - sharing this poorly written piece as a celebration of the Beetle. RIP and I hope you come back as a bad ass electric car (with a rear engine) once VW electrifies the world.
Added 7/10/19
Unpopular Opinion Time! I think the VW New Beetle (98-12?) is a great car. In fact, I like it so much I’ve been daily driving one since sophomore year of college. Before you skip to the comments to tell me I’m wrong and my mother is promiscuous, let me explain why:
Full disclosure: I liked these cars since they were introduced and convinced my mom to buy a tdi with a manual transmission in hopes it would become a hand-me down. Four years and 90k miles later, the plan came to fruition! Also, this review mostly applies to the tdi models.
!!!CAPTION ERROR: MAY BE MULTI-LINE OR CONTAIN LINK!!!The New Beetle (NB from here on out, not to be confused with the 2 nd Gen. Miata) is built on the MKIV Golf platform. This means it has all the benefits (and downsides) as a similar year Golf. The driving dynamics, ergonomics, engine/transmission, and most critical components are the same. The car could be had with the 1.9L tdi and a 5 speed until 2006. These cars are not affected by #dieselgate although the 2006 model year was only sold new in 45 states due to changing diesel regulations.
*not my engine. My Brother’s ALH. I have the BEW
Since the NB was on the MKIV platform, most performance upgrades would also fit. On the tdi, all tunes, turbos, brake kits, suspension bits, were interchangeable. There are even a few users on tdiclub that swap Audi TT suspension components. There is also a huge tdi community consisting of highly knowledgeable individuals and part suppliers. All these translate over to the NB.
However, you can swap turbos, coilovers, etc. till your heart’s content but you will still be driving an econobox. A quick econobox, mind you, but you will never have a true sports car experience (that’s what Miatas or for, anyways). Most people will say this is a pitfall but I actually think it is a feature! If you have the mindset that the NB will always be basic transportation to get your ass to work every morning, you will be rewarded. It is much more engaging than a Corolla or Prius. Like I mentioned above, my car has the tdi and manual box. Although the HP numbers are weak, it produces peak torque at 1700 RPM. This makes traffic and highway passing a breeze. You can also chip tune the car and get a very noticeable bump in power/torque (highly recommended!). Also, it has real wheels that will fit performance tires. No pizza cutters here! I used to run my 18” wheels with 225 width summer performance tires. I could even out-run my friend’s Subaru in the canyons, in my heyday. Try that in a Prius! (Actually, please don’t, for everyone’s safety). However, I recently switched to low rolling resistance all seasons to maximize fuel economy. (I have two other sporty cars, no need to go canyon carving in the NB, anymore). That brings us to the other main selling point of the tdi. I routinely get 40 MPG commuting in LA. Not too shabby if you ask me.
My car in a past life, probably.
The interior of the NB is a nice place to be as well. I have heated leather seats, a large sunroof, a great factor stereo (with AUX input!), a ton of front seat headroom, auto down (and up!) driver/passenger windows, and factory red LED’s for ambiance. Not bad for an 11 year old car that cost under $20k new.
Lastly, we will talk about the styling. It is arguably the only reason you would purchase the NB over a Golf or Jetta. Style is 100% subjective but uniqueness is not. There is no other car on the road that looks like a NB. Hard stop. While many people dislike the style, I enjoy that the car is instantly recognized as a NB. In a sea of silver sedans, CUV’s, and hatchbacks, it is nice to have something different. It might not be elegant, but it certainly isn’t boring. It tells the world you are not a sheep being herded by the man. You are going against the grain. You are so metal. I may or may not be reading too much into this, though.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, brings us to my personal daily driver. It is the first year of the facelift finished in Gecko Green over black leather. The car has a few mild modifications including an ECU tune, H&R hub adapters to fit GTI Detroit wheels, and OEM European front turn signals. I always wanted to throw on coil-overs, a much bigger turbo, and some other performance bits to really make the car my own, but I moved on to other projects. No matter how many parts I installed I would still have the bones of a FWD economy car. This would never work if I wanted to rip donuts in a safe, controlled environment. So with that in mind, I saved the majority of my paychecks from my first internship and bought a Miata (#1 of 2). I am still very happy I modified the bug to fit my personal tastes and did not ruin the car for everyday driving. 185k miles later, it is still a comfortable, stylish (IMO) car that will eat a trip to Napa from LA without even stopping to fill up. Most importantly though, every time I hit lock on my switchblade key, I turn my head to steal one last glance of the misunderstood, bright green beetle.
As she sits today. Sorry for the poor picture quality!!
I enjoy this little italicized bit at the end of real writers’ articles. I like weird cars and have the unique problem of choosing if I would rather drive a 348, New Beetle, or a NB Miata. I also do not own a real camera so my pictures are very low quality. *This article has not been fact checked in any way, shape, or form.
Sam
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
12/13/2016 at 14:14 | 3 |
I mean, it isn’t bad. It’s just not exactly fantastic. This is the proper old New Beetle to get, though.
Also, the GTI wheels look hilarious on yours. In a good way.
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> Sam
12/13/2016 at 14:16 | 0 |
This is on my list if I ever win the lotto! haha
themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
12/13/2016 at 14:18 | 1 |
As dirty as this makes me feel to say......your beetle needs a small duck tail spoiler on the rear parallel to the belt line and it would look perfect. Not a big one, mind you, just.....Hold on, I’ll be back.
RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
12/13/2016 at 14:20 | 2 |
Before you skip to the comments to tell me I’m wrong
and my mother is promiscuous
Oh, not at all. You’re only mostly wrong, and it’s actually your Beetle that’s promiscuous. We weren’t even sure how to tell you until now, but it might involve some guy named “Ray”.
TheRealBicycleBuck
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
12/13/2016 at 14:22 | 0 |
Don’t get lazy. Acronyms mean something. This is an NB:
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
12/13/2016 at 14:25 | 1 |
Ray, you say?
*furiously scribles another name onto a paper titled Hitlist*
Comes over to help work on your car and only drinks beer
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
12/13/2016 at 14:26 | 4 |
Before you skip to the comments to tell me I’m wrong and my mother is promiscuous, let me explain why:
Read entire article expecting an explanation as to why your mother was promiscuous, very disappoint.
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> TheRealBicycleBuck
12/13/2016 at 14:26 | 1 |
I know! I actually have a NB Miata, too. I’m am actively trying to confuse everyone though :p
E90M3
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
12/13/2016 at 14:27 | 4 |
This Ray
LongbowMkII
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
12/13/2016 at 14:27 | 1 |
I troubleshot my cousin’s NB. the fuse block needed to be replaced. It seems like a bad idea to put fan fuses vital to running on a battery but I’m not German. easy access though.
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> Comes over to help work on your car and only drinks beer
12/13/2016 at 14:27 | 2 |
Article for another day and another medium.
themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
> themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
12/13/2016 at 14:28 | 3 |
Your car needs this in gecko green.
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> LongbowMkII
12/13/2016 at 14:32 | 0 |
Yeah, Germans seem not so great with the electrcity. haha
xyzabc
> TheRealBicycleBuck
12/13/2016 at 14:33 | 1 |
...then what does “SPA” mean?
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
12/13/2016 at 14:34 | 0 |
I actually really like that! I wonder if it was a factory option or AM. I like the built in 3rd brake light.
Takuro Spirit
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
12/13/2016 at 14:44 | 0 |
NB you say?
Neil drives a beetle and a fancy beetle
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
12/13/2016 at 14:55 | 1 |
Somewhere in my heart, there is a place for this car. Lowered, tuned, and with a stupid spoiler; it sends the perfect message of, “I like driving but don’t take myself (too) seriously.” And that’s kind of awesome.
SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
12/13/2016 at 14:56 | 0 |
That the MKIV stayed in production until 2012 is a travesty. Just buy a Golf. Same unreliable piece of shit, but with functionality.
Trevor Slattery, ACTOR
> LongbowMkII
12/13/2016 at 14:59 | 3 |
The bad fuse box is the SYMPTOM, not The Problem.
The black cable on the LH side that goes to the alternator breaks down and has too much resistance. It gets hot and melts the fuse box. Go to Autozone and scoop up a heavier gauge wire to replace the one that is there and the problem will never return. Don’t be surprised if your car functions better electrically in a general sense.
bhtooefr
> TheRealBicycleBuck
12/13/2016 at 15:01 | 0 |
Yeah, except on TDIClub and (IIRC) VWvortex, NB is a New Beetle.
Phatboyphil
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
12/13/2016 at 15:06 | 2 |
Your mother’s promiscuous and your father is a cobbler’s apprentice! doth family behold the glory of the Kings defacation!
mazda616
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
12/13/2016 at 15:11 | 0 |
I was OBSESSED with these cars when they were introduced. I always loved the original Beetle and had a ton of those as die-cast models as a kid, and when the New Bettle was introduced in ‘98, I was 9. So I thought they were beyond cool.
Then I kind of got made fun of for liking a “girly car”, so my interest waned.
However, on our honeymoon in 2012, my wife and I rented this then brand new one in Florida and it was a very nice to drive little car.
In a bit of deja vu, we took a trip to St. Louis in June 2015 and got another brand new red Beetle as a rental. It was still just as good as I remembered. Plenty of power, felt really solid and surprisingly well built, and was overall a fun drive to me.
Dodo
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
12/13/2016 at 15:11 | 1 |
Love the NB SPAM Bot, I’ve been considering one myself lately as a daily.
As an aside do you know how I can make posts on oppo as I have some stories to share too :)
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
12/13/2016 at 15:12 | 0 |
Eh, mine has been very reliable. Maybe I’m lucky *shrugs and quickly knocks on wood*
There is a case to be made about the fuctionality but I was still able to pack my dorm room (including a mountain bike, mini fridge, and 80's stereo into the car). A roof rack certainly helps, too. For me, I’d gladly give up practicality for something that looks different. Also, I’m depriving myself now so that minivan in 10 years will seem like heaven. haha
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> Neil drives a beetle and a fancy beetle
12/13/2016 at 15:13 | 0 |
Exactly! That was my plan (sans spoiler) until other cars got in the way. Oh well, maybe one of these days.
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> Takuro Spirit
12/13/2016 at 15:17 | 1 |
Can confirm.
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> mazda616
12/13/2016 at 15:23 | 1 |
I rented a turbo during a business trip back it 2014 (I think). I really liked it, too! If I was in the market for a small FWD car, this would be high on my list. Yes, many people call it a girly car but whatever. They also say the same thing about the Miata. Haters gon’ hate, I suppose.
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> Phatboyphil
12/13/2016 at 15:25 | 0 |
mmmmmmm, cobbler...
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> Dodo
12/13/2016 at 15:27 | 0 |
I’ve maintained this car since new so I am very comfortable with the reliability. Used ones are often abused so you have to be picky in your search.
As for posting:
http://oppositelock.kinja.com/a-slightly-revised-oppositelock-handbook-for-commenting-1750418920
TheRealBicycleBuck
> bhtooefr
12/13/2016 at 16:00 | 0 |
To which I say, “know your audience.”
Mid Engine
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
12/13/2016 at 16:31 | 0 |
What does a VW Beetle have in common with a Cayman? I’ve owned a Beetle and currently own a Cayman, other than being part of the VW group the two cars have nothing in common.
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> Mid Engine
12/13/2016 at 16:42 | 0 |
The color is pretty similar! I took that picture and sent it to my friend saying it was my car’s cousin. I’ve driven a Cayman on 3 separate occasions. Can confirm they are nothing alike.
Dodo
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
12/13/2016 at 21:26 | 0 |
Thanks SPAM Bot appreciate the advice and the link
TrickJos
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
07/10/2019 at 20:41 | 0 |
Those wheels look great.
Captain of the Enterprise
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
07/10/2019 at 20:44 | 1 |
Personally I’d rather have the golf over the beetle because it’s more practical with the squared back but I’m glad you like it!
AestheticsInMotion
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
07/10/2019 at 20:46 | 0 |
I love the new Beetles. 10/10 would daily one
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> Captain of the Enterprise
07/10/2019 at 20:48 | 1 |
Pure practicality, yes, would rather have the Golf. There are many times when the gold would have been the better choice in the last 13 years. But it worked well most of the times and with a roof rack, I feel like a T-rex with one of the grabber things. Unstoppable. LOL
AestheticsInMotion
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
07/10/2019 at 20:49 | 0 |
Somehow I didn’t know you had an NB.
A gorgeous NB at that. I’ve always loved that grey. What seats are those? Surely n ot the super-rare japan-only M azdaspeed seats
AestheticsInMotion
> Sam
07/10/2019 at 20:51 | 0 |
What is that gorgeous beetle
Captain of the Enterprise
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
07/10/2019 at 20:51 | 1 |
Nice! lol
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> AestheticsInMotion
07/10/2019 at 20:52 | 0 |
They work well as a DD. Not as fun to drive as a miata, but it has done everything I’ve ever asked of it. It’s way better than something that blends in with all the other commuter cars, IMO.
I also like cars where you just call them by the brand or the model. Bug, Jeep, and only a few others are good at this.
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> TrickJos
07/10/2019 at 20:53 | 0 |
Thank you! I hunted for them (at a decent price) for a while. I was a very happy camper the day I installed them haha
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> AestheticsInMotion
07/10/2019 at 20:57 | 0 |
I sold it a year or two ago. Street parking two cars was a PITA and I was starting to rarely drive it. I miss the car, but I don’t regret selling it.
Thank you! I got a lot of complements with that car, especially when I had the hard top. The seats were stock, but recovered in red/black leatherette. I’ll see if I can hunt down more pictures.
https://oppositelock.kinja.com/i-sold-my-miata-1819956269
Just Jeepin'
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
07/10/2019 at 21:21 | 1 |
Anything that comes as a convertible and with a stick is kosher in my book.
Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz)
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
07/10/2019 at 21:38 | 0 |
My mother-in-law’s second car is a Beetle convertible, Denim Edition, 2017 I believe. I
t’s absolutely terrible. Slow, clunky and cheap. A complete waste of money. Having said that, I believe the Denim Edition was created with a specific, small group of buyers in mind, therefore #NotAllBeetles. Some of them seemed pretty decent enough, even fun.
syaieya
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
07/10/2019 at 21:48 | 0 |
I don’t hate what they are, but I hate how they took all the bits of a mk 4 and shoved them into smaller packaging.
They are a chore to work on top side
Being said, there was a girl in the town i went to college in that ran a chameleon painted turbo beetle with a manual and that was honestly goals.
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz)
07/10/2019 at 21:56 | 0 |
I think the electric steering and the cheap feeling steering wheel on the newest beetles kinda killed the fun. They feel a little generic. I heard good things about the turbo, bc it’s essentially a gti in a bubble suit, but the guy on here with the 996 didn’t really seem to like his that much. I was definitely pulling for him to get that, bc it seems great on paper, so I’m a little bummed he was let down.
Mine feels more premium than the new ones (but without technology). But it’s from a time piëch (or however you spell it) was ruling vw with an iron fist.
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> Just Jeepin'
07/10/2019 at 21:58 | 1 |
I was never really a convertible fan growing up but I think my mind has changed. The last 3 cars I've bought have been two seat convertibles (well, one targa) and 5 speed manuals lol
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> syaieya
07/10/2019 at 22:02 | 0 |
That is really awesome! I knew a girl with a green turbo s and light mods. She was slightly goals but not my type lol
All the maintenance stuff, on the tdi at least, is pretty easy. But, I really need to clean the intake and that is absolutely impossible to access without removing the cowl, me thinks.
Neil drives a beetle and a fancy beetle
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
07/10/2019 at 22:15 | 1 |
It’s funny to see my comment from 2016 because although I still kind of agree with myself. I bought my 2012 Turbo Beetle almost 2 years ago and been perpetually at odds about my opinion of it. On the one hand it is decently quick, fuel efficient, and small. On the other hand the suspension and clutch feel have never lent themselves to particularly hard driving. Oh well; I wanted something that I could not worry about for not much money, and it’s been that. And the 2.0T engine can give me giggles sometimes.
But I’m pretty excited to move on to the next thing. Which at this point will either be a beater or the exact opposite of a modern beetle: 335d.
HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
07/10/2019 at 22:57 | 1 |
I nearly bought a 2012 Turbo, except it was purchased the day before I went to test drive it, after sitting on the lot for 5 months!
I also wrote a little thing about how the new Beetle is the closest thing to a Saab 900 you can buy that isn’t 20 years old. https://oppositelock.kinja.com/am-i-just-fooling-myself-1822196987
JeepJeremy
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
07/10/2019 at 23:30 | 1 |
This is good Oppo! I wanna see more pics of the Beetle. Especially the interior.
I’m just curious about it
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> Neil drives a beetle and a fancy beetle
07/10/2019 at 23:47 | 0 |
I referenced you in another comment, but couldn’t remember your screen name haha! I have my moments with mine, but at the end of the day, I really do like it. It usually takes a road trip or something to remind me though. Commuting takes a little bit of my soul lol. I’m sure tires, a tune, springs, and a clutch would liven things up (even one of those). Although I def understand not wanting to do any of that on your DD. Glad it's still doing ok, even if it's a little dull, glad to hear you still get some enjoyment from the 2.0T. And hopefully an average DD makes you enjoy driving the 996 more haha
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
07/10/2019 at 23:48 | 0 |
It was not meant to be, I guess!
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> JeepJeremy
07/10/2019 at 23:52 | 2 |
Haha thank you! I love oppo. So many different automotive preferences. I'll have to snap a few, probably after I clean it. But it's the black leather with the green exterior paint strip on top of the door card. I've always wanted to do a black headliner, but it's a low priority. TDI, manual 5 speed, a few personal touches, and a lot of miles/memories.
Bike b
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
07/11/2019 at 07:37 | 0 |
I’m a fan of the NB for a daily. Here’s my 04 tdi, manual with the springs from the Jetta wagon and blocks for a 4 inch lift. It also has AT tires to get through the snow here. I’ve done a colt stage 2 cam , timing belt and injectors with help from tdi forums.
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> Bike b
07/11/2019 at 11:45 | 0 |
Nice!! I’ve seen a few with the lift and A/T tires. I still have dreams of doing a crazy cam, turbo, and suspension stuff. Probably not going to happen anytime soon, though. I love tdiclub. Such a good resource.
CaptDale - is secretly British
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
07/11/2019 at 12:01 | 0 |
Very decent write up. I can definatley appreciate the art of being happy with a funish daily . I love the stupid wagon I bought.
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> CaptDale - is secretly British
07/11/2019 at 12:18 | 0 |
The wagon is definitely cool. Something about that era of VAG vehicles appeals to me. Both my brothers currently have VW’s from the same timeframe too haha
CaptDale - is secretly British
> SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
07/11/2019 at 12:28 | 1 |
Ha ha yeah i mean it is the same era Audi thought, “ let’s take our big wagon and shove a twin turbo V10 in it” God I want one so badly.
Sam
> AestheticsInMotion
07/12/2019 at 10:10 | 0 |
It’s a Beetle RSi. VR6 powahhh.
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> AestheticsInMotion
07/17/2019 at 19:34 | 1 |
Found some pictures while looking for wood ceiling pictures of my aunt’s house down here lol The outside is actually in the second pic
. All I can currently find
are old crappy snapchat pictures
.
This last one was after I reassembled the interior after someone stole my hardtop... In the rain -_-
SPAMBot - Horse Doctor
> AestheticsInMotion
07/17/2019 at 19:39 | 1 |
Oh, and three more! I can’t really find any interior shots, though